Pros and Cons of having a two-year-old

Horrible things Hazel has done today, that make me absolutely crazy:

• Blew her nose all over her face. I cannot begin to describe (a) how disgusting this is and (b) how crazy it makes me. (After Geoff got home she blew her nose on HIS face, and that is definitely more disgusting.)
• Refused to get dressed. Only wanted jammies. When she decided it would be okay for her to get dressed she only wanted the cow shirt, which is, of course, dirty. I have got to find another cow shirt.
• Threw a full container of yogurt across the room, which exploded when it hit the treadmill, sending yogurt everywhere.
• Also, at breakfast threw a spoonful of applesauce and yogurt on her pile of papers. This was after asking me to help her and then when I did help her getting upset and saying, “I do myself.” Make up your mind!
• The flippant, “Sorry, mom”. Don’t apologize if you are not actually sorry.
• Flipped over her table and chairs, ala the Hulk, when I offered her a coloring book. I knew it was coming, I saw the rage, and could not stop the destruction. What is so horrible about a coloring book that causes her to Hulk-out? I think she wanted to color somewhere else, not at her table.
• Pulled the curtains on the front door, bending the curtain rod.
• Kicked me right in the breastbone while I was changing her diapers. Like it isn’t bad enough that I have to change a poopy diaper, I also have to get kicked.
• Slapped me on the cheek while being on snuggly on my lap. She just can’t stand too much niceness and must prove that she can still be a mean little cuss.
  

Cute things Hazel has done that have helped me NOT want to sell her to the gypsies:

• Actually cleaned up the table and chair mess, including crayons and coloring book, and said “I want to sit by mommy.”
• Walking around wearing my shoes. Maybe if she walked a mile in my shoes she would understand about the stuff that makes me crazy. But, then she would probably do more of it. Because that is how she rolls.
• Snuggled on my lap in all of her warm, little two-year-old goodness.
• Used a pink crayon as “lipstick.” I am not sure where this is coming from because I am not a lipstick person myself. It was adorable, however.
• Doing crazy “exercises” on her table, I think they were supposed to be push-ups. And counting while she is doing them. Totally gets them from her dad, as I don’t do any exercises that require counting. Or really much of ANY exercises.